Posted by Perry

1 SAMUEL 25:23-42
Phone rings/friend says/got someone for you to meet/be @ my house 30 min./going to football game/you hesitantly show up/friend & their date pick up your date/ & WHAM!/
Your dream come true/
Combination of posters on your bedroom wall/
Embodiment of all your fantasies/
Fulfillment of all your hopes/
And you knew like never before/
You were in love/
Here is the person you would marry/
You just met your “destiny”!

- Sounds good
- Way it’s supposed to be, right?
- How people fall in love
- NOT!
It would be nice but don’t plan on it.
- God designed us to love and be loved
- Got to be careful
- Lots of room for error
People try lots of ways to discover “True Love”
- Love that’s strong & deep
- Love that lasts forever
- They get heartache & pain
- Become broken & bitter
• Real love isn’t same as “Lust”
o Jon Bon Jovi “Today’s songs are about lust, not love.”
o Media in general has blurred the lines between love & lust
o Love values/lust uses
o Love endures/lust subsides
• Real love isn’t same as “romance”
o Emotional fireworks when couple holds hands, kisses etc.
o Special moments:
 Candlelight
 Mood music
 Slow dance
 Starry skies
o Romance is a feeling
 Love is much more
• Real love isn’t infatuation
o Fascination w/ an intense interest in someone of opposite sex
 Symptoms:
 Breathless
 Lightheaded
 Starry-eyed
 Addle-brained
 Loss of appetite
Joyce Hugget – “…usually thoroughly ‘me centered’ rather than ‘other centered.’ You fall for someone, you beguile yourself into believing yourself deeply in love w/ this person round whom your dreams revolve, you believe yourself ready to renounce your absorption with self for the sake of the well-being of this other person. Then, one morning, you wake up to discover that the euphoria has evaporated in the night. What’s more, you find yourself held captive by identical feelings for another person. When people talk about “falling in love” or “love at first sight” they are usually talking about infatuation. It can be an overwhelming “feeling”, but it’s not real love.
• Real love not same as sex
o Intensity of sex & intimacy of love not same
o Love is process
 Sex is an act
o Love is learned
 Sex is instinct
o Love requires constant attention
 Sex takes no effort
o Love takes time to develop and mature
 Sex doesn’t need time
o Love requires emotional and spiritual interaction
 Sex requires only physical interaction
o Love deepens a relationship
 Sex (operation independently of love) dulls a relationship & will eventually kill it
Our example is Abigail & David
@ first meeting Abigail is married
Her husband dies and…vs 39
1Sa 25:39 David heard that Nabal had died. "I praise the LORD!" David said. "He has judged Nabal guilty for insulting me. The LORD kept me from doing anything wrong, and he made sure that Nabal hurt only himself with his own evil." Abigail was still at Carmel. So David sent messengers to ask her if she would marry him.
1Sa 25:40 (SEE 25:39)
1Sa 25:41 She bowed down and said, "I would willingly be David's slave and wash his servants' feet."
1Sa 25:42 Abigail quickly got ready and went back with David's messengers. She rode on her donkey, while five of her servant women walked alongside. She and David were married as soon as she arrived.
David knew he found “real love”
- Never says Abigail was “hot”
- Or David “fell in love”
- Does give us clues to real love
David & ragtag army in exile/running from King Saul/asked Nabal, Abigail’s husband for food/(Mid-Eastern culture you never turned down someone hungry)/Nabal refused/ David had earlier been kind to Nabal’s ranch hands/David decided to kill Nabal & his household/Abigail finds out/goes out to meet David v23
1Sa 25:23 Abigail quickly got off her donkey and bowed down in front of David.
1Sa 25:24 Then she said: Sir, please let me explain!
CLUE #1: R-E-S-P-E-C-T
True love always includes respect
- Physical respect
- Intellectual respect
- Emotional respect
- Social respect
David respected her for single-handedly saving the household
Vs 26
Sa 25:25 Don't pay any attention to that good-for-nothing Nabal. His name means "fool," and it really fits him! I didn't see the men you sent,
1Sa 25:26 but please take this gift of food that I've brought and share it with your followers. The LORD has kept you from taking revenge and from killing innocent people. But I hope your enemies and anyone else who wants to harm you will end up like Nabal. I swear this by the living LORD and by your life.
1Sa 25:27 (SEE 25:26)
1Sa 25:28 Please forgive me if I say a little more. The LORD will always protect you and your family, because you fight for him. I pray that you won't ever do anything evil as long as you live.
True love always includes a common faith in the LORD. (God is love…)
- Common desire to be kept from doing wrong
- Abigail heart of faith/common w/ David who was a “man after God’s own heart”
- Do I have a personal relationship w/ Jesus Christ?
- Does my boy/girl friend have relationship w/ Jesus Christ?
2Co 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Vs 30, 31
1Sa 25:30 The LORD has promised to do many good things for you, even to make you the ruler of Israel. The LORD will keep his promises to you,
1Sa 25:31 and now your conscience will be clear, because you won't be guilty of taking revenge and killing innocent people. When the LORD does all those good things for you, please remember me.
Abigail showed concern:
- For David’s happiness
- For his health
- For his spiritual growth
We are to love God MORE than we love ourselves
We are to love neighbor (boy/girl friend, spouse…) as much as we love ourselves.
Eph 5:28 In the same way, a husband should love his wife as much as he loves himself. A husband who loves his wife shows that he loves himself.
True Love Will:
- Nurture & cherish
- Not emotionally exploit or abuse
- Not pressure for sex outside marriage
- Not insist on other person breaking off healthy friendships
True Love can be found in David’s love for Abigail.


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